


The Way I Love You

by stillifall



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Drunk Confession, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:00:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23058115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillifall/pseuds/stillifall
Summary: “You should break up with her.” At that, Buck paused. His mind searched for any ‘hers’ but he came up empty. He was sure he wasn’t dating anyone. He was sure because he didn’t want to date anyone. (Anyone that wasn’t Eddie. He pushed that thought out, because it wasn’t important. It was selfish to ask for more when Eddie was already his whole damn world.)“With who?” On the other end, Buck could hear Eddie mumble something, then a pause, and then a cough.“With Abby.”
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 404





	The Way I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Took 2 months to get out of my writers block and also have time to write this, but there it is ^^ Enjoy!

Buck looked from the TV down to the vibrating phone on his coffee table. He set his beer down and grabbed the phone, his eyes barely leaving the TV as his fingers swiped ‘accept’ and put his phone to his ear. 

“Buck!”

Buck almost choked on his beer and immediately paused the show he was watching, paying attention to the voice on the phone. It was Eddie, that was his first thought. It was Eddie and he sounded drunk, was his second thought. He looked down on himself, trying to tidy his wrinkled shirt, and fix his hair. Almost as if the other man could see him.

“Everything okay man?” Buck asked, immediately standing up and trying to spot his jacket, just in case he needed to leave his apartment right now to go pick him up, or Christopher, or really, anything that Eddie needed him to do. He spotted his keys on the table, and he had his wallet right next to it. His heart was beating against his rib cage, waiting for Eddie to tell him what exactly was wrong. Then he could be prepared. He only needed one word and Buck would be there to help him fix it.

“Everything is great, don't worry your pretty little head,” Eddie replied, his voice slurred and gigglish. Buck stopped putting the jacket he found on, a smile forming on his face. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and calmly went back to the couch.

“Are you drunk Eddie?”

There was a pause on the call, and Buck, if he was right, could hear the background music of a bar, the footsteps of people dancing, and the chattering of other drunk people. Like Eddie, apparently. He wished he could see what exactly Eddie was doing at a bar, drunk, at this time of night. If he remembered, Eddie had mentioned how Chimney basically forced the other man for a night out. (Buck agreed, Eddie needed a break.) However, Buck could never have imagined that Eddie would end up this drunk. Or well, that Chimney would let him.

“...a little.” Buck chuckled, grabbing his beer and deciding to lay across the couch, taking as much space as possible. He was now amused, it almost felt like he was in high school, talking to a friend who couldn’t hold their alcohol. Yes this was definitely something he was going to use to tease the older man.

“Sounds like you are having fun then,” Buck teased, his tone playful. It was fun, to be the one who didn’t have to be careful about what might slip out every time he spoke. (Because lately, that’s what he had to do. He had to be careful about how long he looked at Eddie, how often he texted him, what he said… he had to be so careful because there was a feeling in his gut telling him to be. Butterflies that seem to want to kill him every time he stepped too close, or looked too long.)

Eddie hummed on the other end of the phone, “mmm but I miss you.” 

And normally, Buck would worry about what he meant. He would worry about how to respond to that without overstepping, or coming across as too needy. But this time, this time Eddie was drunk and he was the one saying every thought that came to his head, so without hesitation Buck replied with ‘ me too’. 

“I’ve been thinking-”

“Oh that’s dangerous for you Diaz,” Buck didn’t need to see the other man to know he was rolling his eyes. His smile grew.

“You should break up with her.” At that, Buck paused. His mind searched for any ‘hers’ but he came up empty. He was sure he wasn’t dating anyone. He was sure because he didn’t want to date anyone. (Anyone that wasn’t Eddie. He pushed that thought out, because it wasn’t important. It was selfish to ask for more when Eddie was already his whole damn world.)

“With who?” On the other end, Buck could hear Eddie mumble something, then a pause, and then a cough.

“With Abby.” 

The name never lacked to punch Buck’s air straight out of his lungs, and this time was no exception. Abby, it would make sense. It would make sense if only Eddie could remember that she left him, months ago, for Ireland. Yes, Buck had made peace with it. Yes, Buck had moved on. But it didn’t stop him from hurting, just a little, everytime she was mentioned. Because whether he liked it or not, he loved her and he gave her a part of him. He grew without that part, became Buck 2.0, yet it didn’t keep him from missing everything he gave to her. 

Buck took a deep breath in and tried to ignore the knot on his throat. Tried to ignore how the butterflies in his stomach became just balls of anxiety.

“Eddie-”

“She doesn’t love you,” the other man stated. That sent a wave of ache throughout Buck’s heart. There was a line, a line that not even being drunk could excuse. He frowned now, standing up from the couch and leaving the beer by the table. 

“Hey man-”

“Not the way I do anyway,” Eddie finished, his voice lowered and shy and vulnerable. And it might have been the drinks, but there was no way drinking suddenly made Eddie fall in love with him. 

“What?” Buck whispered, the butterflies coming back and threatening to overtake each part of him. He glanced around his empty apartment, almost as if expecting Eddie to appear and say that he didn’t mean it, or that it was a joke. Except it wasn’t. The emptiness of his apartment was vast, and the only sound was the one coming from the phone.

“You are a hot firefighter,” Eddie stated, shifting topics as if he hadn’t just opened up an old wound and then managed to confess his feelings for him. Buck only shook his head, trying to catch his breath, not lose his cool. No need for Eddie to know just how quickly he could make Buck lose his grip.

“Diaz I think you had enough to drink,” he said softly, wishing he was by his side. (Because if he was, he would have asked him ‘in what way? In what way do you love me?’ and he would have said ‘I love you in a way I haven’t loved anyone before’. But he didn’t, because Eddie was his friend, and he was drunk, and drunken confessions don’t count because they are forgotten.)

“...yeah, I think I have.”

There was a pause between the two men, where Buck could hear his breathing and the music playing in the back. The silence between the two men was tense, yet Buck couldn’t ignore his heart beat and the flicker of hope that settled warmly in his chest.

“Did you mean it?” 

Eddie chuckled then, almost as if he was just waiting for him to ask him that question. As if answering was the easiest thing in the world.

“Yes. For a while now. I really like you-” there was a pause, and for a second Buck thought Eddie had hung up on him.

“-and I think I love you.” 

Buck smiled, looking around his empty apartment, his eyes settling on the clock in the wall. The heaviness of the words the other man had just said was lost to the late hours of the night but not to Buck.

“It's late Diaz. I’ll see you in the morning okay?” 

“I won’t remember in the morning,” Eddie stated, like he wanted to stay on this call forever. He didn’t need to face rejection, and he didn’t need to be brave. He was drunk, and Buck was his friend. And whatever Buck made out of his feelings, he had an excuse. But right now, on this call, it was possible. Anything was possible, as long as he didn’t hang up.

“I will. And in the morning you’ll find out that I love you too.” Eddie smiled, his eyes closing and imagining Buck on the other end. 

“Promise?”

“Promise.”


End file.
